Seasons

Whew, what to say. I suppose I write here to keep negativity at bay. You can’t really call folks out of the blue on special occasions, especially if you’re feeling wounded or needy, especially if you’re likely to be intruding in their own lives, traditions, and enjoyment of their own time here in their own worlds. Which I … have not really been much part of in any tangible way.

I can feel sorry for myself; that others are enjoying the things I long for. Togetherness, enjoyment, comfort, belonging. lol … none of those for me. The sacrifices I made didn’t really feel like much sacrifice, as I thought I was doing what needed to be done. And now, what do I have to show for it? I can do as I please? Yes … in some, not in others … much the same as anyone, ever.

What gifts can be given to the man who’s already given up? Already found that the world is against him, and can’t be bothered? How is it that the more I ask for help and tell people I’m lonely, the more I’m left alone? And how appealing is that? lol give me attention! Pay attention to me!! Do something with me! No … no good comes of that.

And so here I sit. And type. A pleasant day to you and yours. Today and evermore. g’nite.